I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
