some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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