and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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