4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
