oh god the rape fog is back!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
