The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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