bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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