Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
