i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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