I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
