my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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