he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
