I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
