i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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