wanna go halves on a baby?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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