So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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