Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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