I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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