She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
