wanna go halves on a baby?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
