So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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