The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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