So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
