i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
