someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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