I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
