Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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