so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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