I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
