Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
