You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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