I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm bleeding and have questions
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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