i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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