Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
