Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
