It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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