he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
