white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
