The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Couch. On fire.
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