it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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