Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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