Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
