at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i think my cat just said my name.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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