I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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