P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
