I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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