I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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