I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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