Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
