just tell him i said nine months
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
