ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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