That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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